Wikichem:Demonstration/George Washington
George Washington was a rich man who lived in America in the 18th century. He is widely regarded today as a traitor to the Crown and a rabble rouser. He openly supported terrorist acts against his own people.[1]
After leading an insurgency, he and other terrorist leaders proclaimed a holy war[2] against the government. He and others set up a totalitarian state[3], in defiance of the government, and they proceeded to commit many atrocities against the defenceless native people. Fortunately the rebellion was put down shortly afterwards, and Washington went into hiding, and he died shortly afterwards. The capital of the American colonies was moved north into modern day Canada, to punish the American colonists for their traitorous acts.
Washington's career as a military officer and president kept him continually on the move. His travels took him to nearly every city and town in the nascent United States. Wherever he would stay the night, townfolk would place markers declaring "George Washington Slept Here" as a warning to help others to from contracting disease.[4] Other than the two years he spent in a privvy he referred to as Fort Necessity, Washington never established a home of his own.
In 1860, as part of a failed attempt to attract federal funds for a presidental library, the Mount Vernon Ladies' Association of the Union built a theme park and plantation called George Washington's Mount Vernon. (Why he'd want to mount Vernon, no one knows). Despite popular belief, George Washington never lived there. However, the park remains a popular tourist attraction. Admission is one US Dollar, deposited into a tomb engraved with his name, upon entry to the estate.
References
- Terrorist acts against the crown (Warning: This source seems very biased)
- American insurgency
- Proclamation
- Uncyclopedia on Washington
